our.God.reigns.

40 million babies lost to Gods great orphanage,
It’s a modern day genocide and a modern day disgrace
If this is a human right then why aren’t we free?
The only freedom we have is in a man nailed to a tree.

100 million faces, staring at the sky,
Wondering if this HIV will ever pass us by.
The devil stole the rain and hope trickles down the plug,
But still my Chinese take away could pay for someone’s drugs.

Our God reigns, Our God reigns,
Forever your kingdom reigns.

The west has found a gun and it’s loaded with ‘unsure’
Nip and tuck if you have the bucks in a race to find a cure.
Psalm one hundred and thirty nine is the conscience to our selfish crime,
God didn’t screw up when he made you,
He’s a father who loves to parade you.

Yes he reigns, yes you reign, yes you reign,
For there is only one true God,
But we’ve lost the reins on this world,
Forgive us all, forgive us please,
As we fight for this broken world on our knees.

Psalms 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

.....and that is that. God, i need you now more than ever before. be present in my life and guide me...because wthout you i am nothing, without you this world is nothing.

with that said, i am going to sleep.

[edit:this page may soon retire...in other words...i made a new xanga-- www.xanga.com/livet_er_smukt )

lyrics that sing the song of my thoughts and feelings:

"i'll take something to believe
something with long sleeves, cuz it's unpredictable
that jesus said he'd fill my needs, but my heart still bleeds
he's just not physical
why can't i see
if i look up and the sky's not there,
is there any reason i should be scared
but a promise, is a promise, i know "

-pedro the lion

halloween.

tonight jessy and i decided to get into the spirit of this very american holiday and get people to dress up....here re pictures....[yeah...nate and greg were the only other 2 who really got into it as much as we did]

cuz we're cool like that.

[absolutely nothing.]

Once on a piece of yellow paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts
That was the year Faher Tracy took all the kids to the zoo
And let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed alot
And the girl around the corner
sent him a Valentine with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why his mother and father kissed alot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it

Once on a piese of paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed it to her
That was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner wore too much make up
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring loudly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time
he didn't think he could reach the kitchen.

-taken from the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky. (my favorite book!)

its all crashing down.

(dont take that as a completely negative statement.)

everything.. all the messed up, disgusting, crap inside of me is slowly pushing its way out in the form of frustration, anxiety, and tears. i knew coming here that i would have to face these issues but i didnt know it was going to be all at the same time. does god even know what he is doing? does he realize how bad this all is messing me up?! i know in the long run it will be worth it, but in the present, it is causeing me alot of emotional trauma. so much that i cant even express it. i cant even comprehend what is going on. the only way i can express it is by crying, which is something i hardly ever did before i got here. and i hate that. the past 3 nights i have found myself bawling like a little kid for different reasons, that are legitimate ones, and i dont understand what has gotten into me. yeah....

i need strength, becuase right now i feel so weak.

:edit:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWN SANDOVAL! YOU ARE THE BEST!